In the 1990s, psychologist Martin Seligman spearheaded the positive psychology movement, shifting the focus of psychology toward understanding and cultivating human happiness.
This movement built upon trends from the 1960s, such as humanistic psychology’s emphasis on achieving innate potential and existential psychology’s focus on creating life’s meaning.
Since then, countless studies and books have explored how to improve well-being and help people lead more satisfying lives.
Yet, despite these efforts, self-reported happiness levels have remained stagnant for over 40 years.
This paradox raises a provocative question: Are we swimming against a biological tide that programs us to be dissatisfied most of the time?
Happiness Isn’t Just One Thing
Jennifer Hecht, a philosopher studying the history of happiness, argues in her book The Happiness Myth that happiness is not a singular experience but a collection of often conflicting types.
Striving for happiness in one area of life may inadvertently diminish it in another.
For example, building a fulfilling life through a successful career and a stable marriage requires long-term effort, often at the expense of hedonistic pleasures.
Partying, spontaneous adventures, and even extended lazy days with friends might be sacrificed for the sake of these goals.
Conversely, indulging in short-term pleasures could undermine the ability to achieve a stable and satisfying long-term life.
This conflict underscores a harsh reality: it’s impossible to maximize all forms of happiness simultaneously.
As happiness in one domain increases, it often declines in another.
Our Brains’ Biases Toward the Past and Future
Adding to the complexity is how our brains process happiness.
Consider how often people say, “Won’t it be great when…” or, “Wasn’t it great when…” compared to how rarely they say, “Isn’t this great, right now?”
This pattern reflects our tendency to idealize the past and future while overlooking the present.
Psychologists attribute this to two cognitive tendencies: the optimistic bias and the Pollyanna Principle.
The optimistic bias causes us to believe the future will be better than the present, propelling us to keep striving.
Meanwhile, the Pollyanna Principle leads us to remember positive aspects of the past more vividly than negative ones, painting a rosier picture of “the good old days.”
For example, when teaching a new class, I often share the average grade students have achieved over the past three years and then ask them to predict their own grades.
Without fail, students’ expectations far exceed the historical average. This illustrates how optimism can override evidence.
The Problem with Pursuing Happiness
Contrary to popular belief, the relentless pursuit of happiness might be counterproductive. The phenomenon of the hedonic treadmill explains why.
As we achieve goals or acquire desired possessions, the initial surge of happiness quickly fades, and we return to our baseline emotional state.
This cycle drives us to chase the next thing we believe will bring lasting joy.
Studies of lottery winners and individuals who achieve major life milestones reveal a sobering truth: these achievements often fail to significantly impact long-term happiness.
For instance, lottery winners report a temporary spike in happiness but typically revert to their pre-win emotional baseline within months.
This isn’t just true for positive experiences.
Studies show that even profoundly negative life events, such as accidents resulting in paralysis, do not drastically alter long-term happiness levels.
Over time, individuals adapt and return to their emotional equilibrium.
The Evolutionary Advantage of Dissatisfaction
Why does happiness remain so fleeting? Evolution offers a compelling answer. Chronic dissatisfaction might have been advantageous for our ancestors.
Those who were content with their circumstances may have lacked the drive to innovate, compete, or improve their living conditions.
In contrast, those who felt a persistent need for more were likely better equipped to survive and pass on their genes.
This perspective reframes the fleeting nature of happiness not as a flaw but as a feature of human psychology.
It suggests that our dissatisfaction fuels ambition, creativity, and resilience.
Rethinking What Happiness Means
Recognizing that happiness is transient and multifaceted can help us approach it differently.
Instead of striving for perpetual bliss, we can focus on appreciating moments of joy as they come.
Understanding that no one truly “has it all” can also reduce envy—a known impediment to happiness.
Moreover, acknowledging the trade-offs inherent in pursuing different types of happiness can lead to more intentional decision-making.
By accepting that we can’t maximize happiness in every area of life, we free ourselves from unrealistic expectations and the disappointment they bring.
The Delicate Balance of Present, Past, and Future
Happiness exists in the interplay between our memories, present experiences, and future aspirations.
Warm recollections of the past reassure us that joy is attainable, while hope for the future motivates us to keep striving.
The present, though often overlooked, is where happiness is actually experienced.
As Hecht and other philosophers have noted, happiness is not a permanent state but a fleeting visitor.
Embracing this reality allows us to savor its presence without clinging to it or fearing its departure.
Finding Joy in the Journey
The pursuit of happiness is deeply ingrained in human nature, yet it’s riddled with paradoxes.
Our brains are wired to idealize the past and future, downplay the present, and never feel fully satisfied.
Far from being a flaw, this design has driven humanity’s progress and resilience.
By redefining happiness as a dynamic, multifaceted experience, we can learn to appreciate its fleeting nature and make peace with its imperfections.
After all, it’s the journey, not the destination, that holds the key to a fulfilling life.
