Imagine opening a closet filled with items you haven’t touched in years.
A stack of old birthday cards, a box labeled “miscellaneous treasures,” or that sweater you swore you’d wear again someday but never did
Now, imagine feeling relief instead of stress when looking at your space.
If you’ve ever wondered why you struggle to let go of things, you’re not alone.
Decluttering isn’t just about making space—it’s deeply tied to our emotions, values, and even personality traits.
A surprising study found that people who hold onto clutter often score high in altruism, meaning they keep items not because they can’t part with them, but because they feel responsible for where they end up.
This flips the common assumption that clutter is about fear of losing things.
Instead, it’s often about meaning. And that insight changes everything about how we approach decluttering.
Why Do We Hold Onto Things?
Hoarding disorder is a well-documented psychiatric condition characterized by difficulty discarding items, leading to excessive clutter that can even become hazardous.
However, even people without hoarding disorder struggle to let go of objects, especially as they age.
Aging brings changes in executive function, which affects decision-making.
Some researchers suggest this contributes to clutter accumulation.
However, a groundbreaking study challenges this assumption, revealing that older adults actually feel less distress when making decluttering decisions.
In fact, many report a positive emotional experience while sorting through their belongings.
This contradicts the long-held belief that decluttering is difficult due to anxiety over decision-making.
Instead, our personal values and a sense of responsibility play a larger role in why we keep things.
Decluttering as an Expression of Values
Decluttering isn’t just about getting rid of stuff—it’s about aligning your surroundings with your personal values.
Consider this: What if, instead of asking whether something “sparks joy,” you asked if it aligns with your values?
In a recent study, researchers found that older adults struggling with clutter often cited altruism as a reason for keeping things.
Many felt a duty to ensure their items found a “good home” rather than simply discarding them.
Sentiments like “My grandmother gave this to me” or “This could be useful to someone” were common.
Rather than challenging these reasons, a more effective decluttering approach involves leaning into values.
By focusing on what matters most, people can make decluttering decisions that feel empowering rather than stressful.
The Simple Technique That Makes Decluttering Easier
A values-based approach to decluttering has proven to be a game-changer.
In a 2024 study, researchers tested a method where clinicians guided participants through decluttering sessions using a technique called “motivational interviewing.”
The results? Not only did clutter decrease, but participants also reported feeling happier and more in control.
Here’s how you can apply this approach yourself:
1. Identify Your Core Values
Write down the values that matter most to you. Some examples:
- Family – Keeping heirlooms that connect you to loved ones.
- Sustainability – Finding responsible ways to repurpose or donate items.
- Simplicity – Prioritizing open spaces and minimalism.
- Creativity – Holding onto items that inspire you, while letting go of clutter.
2. Align Your Space with Your Values
Every object in your home should have a purpose that fits with your values.
If you value tradition, keeping a family cookbook makes sense. If you value efficiency, keeping 30 takeout menus might not.
3. Set a Purpose for Decluttering
Instead of thinking “I need to throw things away”, try:
- “I want to clear my desk so I can work better.”
- “I want my kitchen counters clear so I can enjoy cooking.”
- “I want my living room to feel calm, not chaotic.”
Having a goal makes it easier to stay motivated.
4. Let Go with Confidence
If you’re struggling to part with something, ask:
- “Would someone else benefit from this more than I do?”
- “Does this object support my current life, or is it tied to a past version of myself?”
- “Am I keeping this out of obligation rather than genuine need?”
This shifts the focus from loss to intentionality.
Decluttering as a Path to Mental Clarity
Our surroundings impact our mental state. A cluttered space can create stress, while an organized space can provide clarity.
The key isn’t just throwing things away, but ensuring that what remains reflects who you are and what you value.
Rather than viewing decluttering as an overwhelming chore, see it as an act of self-care.
When done with intention, it’s not about getting rid of things—it’s about keeping what truly matters.
So, the next time you struggle to let go of an item, don’t ask “Should I keep this?”
Instead, ask “Does this fit the life I want to live?”
Because at the end of the day, decluttering isn’t just about stuff. It’s about you.
